Community & Co-Housing

Today I ate lunch in the lunch room at work, for the first time in months. Lately I've been one of the desk-eaters... the ones who just keep working and put food into their mouths when they have a spare second between phone calls, charting, home visits, and the various crises that occur on a regular basis. But today was different. I decided to sit down, eat lunch without my computer, and read the newspaper.

The front page immediately caught my eye as it had a headline about a new Co-Housing development in the Kensington-Cedar Cottage area of Vancouver.

You can read the full article here, but the Cole's Notes version is that a development proposal for Co-Housing has been put forward which hopes to build a 31 residential condominium building that would contain individual/separate condos with their own amenities but large common areas for cooking, eating together, laundry, offices, etc. They talk to a few people interested in this type of lifestyle, who express a desire to know their neighbours, to share life together.

What I read in between the lines: People are longing for community. People are realizing they need each other. People want to be known and know others. And it's people in VANCOUVER wanting this. A place that is one of the "most liveable cities" in the world, yet many people feel isolated and alone and pursue an individualistic lifestyle. I'm not trying to generalize. This obviously doesn't apply to everyone and all of Vancouver. But it's been my prayer that isolation, loneliness, despair would lift and that people would realize their need for God and community. I am encouraged by this article because it's showing that people are longing for community in some way, even if they can't fully articulate it and may not even be fully conscious of this need or desire.

I feel strongly in my Spirit that one of the keys for the Gospel to spread in Vancouver, for people to encounter God and his love is in the context of community. I have felt this for a while, and have the joy of seeing it happen in our own small group that meets every few weeks, as well as in our own home where we are embracing community living. God is on really on the move within small groups/community groups. He is using communities, however they may look, in a powerful way. In ways, I can't even comprehend or fully imagine.

It reminds me of Acts 2:46-48 where they met daily together to break bread, to eat together, and to Praise God while enjoying one another's company and favour. And daily people were being saved! This is how they did church for hundreds of years.

"The fullness of Christ will not come without Christians standing with each other in love."

- Francis Frangipane, The Three Battlegrounds

Let's live this. 

That's my heart right now.

..... And hey, what if half of the owners of this new Co-Housing development were Christians?

Guest Post: Reflections on Marriage in the Context of Community

Sarah is my lovely, amazing, beautiful friend whom I live with in community alongside her awesome husband Robert and their adorable son Joshua! I asked her to write a guest post about living as a married person in community, and these are her thoughts. Enjoy! 


Disclaimer: I would just like to say that this is not a holistic or definitive discussion about what it is like to live in community as a married person. It is simply a reflection on one aspect of how living in community has impacted my marriage. There are challenges and many other aspects involved that are not discussed in this post. 

When we first moved into community a year ago, my husband and I were not really sure what we were getting into. We were excited, yet nervous at the same time and at times even a little scared. How would this impact our marriage? How would our relationship function in this new context? Would we struggle? Would living in community expose the ugly parts of us in a way that would be damaging?   

We had lots of questions but we were ultimately happy and eager to be walking in obedience to what we felt God was calling us to. Little did we know that we would get pregnant within the first month of living in community. This created its own set of stressors and raised many more questions which Megan might address in a later post. With that said, to our wonderful surprise and the graciousness of God, living in community has become a great blessing and gift to my husband and I. Living in community helped prepare my husband and I to become parents.

No, Megan is not like a child to us. She is a fully functioning adult who is incredibly responsible and mature for her age. However, living with another person has caused a very positive refining in our marriage which equipped us to be better parents. Living with Megan has made us conscious about more intentionally stewarding an atmosphere of peace in our home that is free of strife and discord. We do not always do this perfectly, but we have been much more aware of this then when we were first married and living on our own. We are more careful about how and what we speak to each other. We try our best not to argue in front of Megan (although I am sure we have done this on some occasions). As a result, what, in the past, would have been a heated argument in the moment often turns into a much calmer discussion later behind closed doors. My husband and I fight far less since we started living in community a year ago. 

No, we are not just suppressing things or being fake. We do still argue sometimes and continue to have very deep, challenging, and sometimes intense discussions both individually and as a community. With this said, we have learned how to pick our battles and often chose to not engage in a certain conversation because we know it will not go anywhere and is simply a waste of our energy and time. We have learned to say sorry, and forgive more quickly.

 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. 

Ephesians 4:2-3

We are aware that the love, unity, and connection in our marriage not only affects our lives but Megan’s also. The responsibility of this has caused us to nurture and protect our marriage more and this made our transition to becoming parents much easier. I think most parents desire to raise their child in a peaceful and nurturing environment.  This is not always an easy thing to achieve and often requires a steep learning curve and ultimately no family can do this perfectly. Yet, we have had a lot of good practice by living in community, which has made our learning curve easier.  Living in community has given us the grace we need to walk out one of the main things God has called us to do in this season: be parents. For this we are so grateful.  

When we put our trust in God and walk in obedience to what He is leading us to do, even if we don’t understand we are given the opportunity for massive growth in our character, relationship with the LORD and with others. Have you ever had to put your trust in God and walk in obedience even when you did not understand or felt scared? What did this look like for you? 

Community: We need one another!

Since my birthday back in February, I've felt God putting it on my heart to write more, particularly in the form of blogging.  I felt him say to begin by writing about community and what I've learned about it since I began "living in community" with some married friends of mine back in June of 2012. This could take multiple posts as there is quite the story of how we ended up living together, and it's a continual journey learning what living in community is really all about.

Currently I work as a home care nurse in the Downtown Eastside (DTES) of Vancouver, one of the "poorest postal codes" in Canada. I have seen a lot of suffering and brokenness, things I never could have imagined. I have also seen community that I didn't expect which is so beautiful. Yet I have also seen isolation at its worst.

I'm sure there are numerous studies about isolation and people's health, and how social support is a huge determinant of health. I'm convinced it's the most important! Anyway, that's just the nurse in me coming out right there. Lately I have encountered people through my job who are in some very tough, heart-wrenching circumstances without a lot of support and it's really driven this home for me: we need each other, we need community. Desperately.

No amount of money will buy you community. No amount of money will make you happy. Cute homes, good views, expensive clothes, nice cars... none of this amounts to much when it comes down to it. We need God, and we need each other. People long to be in community more than I think they even know! People long to be loved, to be known, to be heard, to be touched, to be seen. I'm realizing more and more that God created us to live in community with one another.

God places the lonely in families; he sets the prisoners free and gives them joy. But he makes the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.

Psalm 68:6

I just love this verse! He places the lonely in families (community!). While I have wonderful parents, siblings and extended family, God has revamped and expanded my definition of family and placed me in one that is just right for this season in my life. I am a single woman, living away from immediate family and where I've grown up. Living alone was always an option I suppose, but not one that seemed right at this time. I can't say I was lonely, but let's be honest, loneliness is real life struggle whether you are single or not and isn't dependent on your living arrangements necessarily.

God has provided community, a family to me. I have the privilege of living together with a married couple and their precious baby (who wasn't born or even in the womb when we first moved in together!). Basically, we share life together. That means we have seen each other at our worst and best (which is humbling at the best of times). We enjoy sharing meals together, and we definitely laugh a lot. As a community we also take time to pray together. Is it easy all the time? Nope. But all of us are called to do life together in some form of community. The Bible encourages this - eating together, fellowship, praying/worshipping together.... Jesus instructs us to love one another, encourage one another and bear each others' burdens. The context of this? Community.

Regardless of where you are living, with whom you are living with and where you are at... what does community look like for you in this season, right now? There is really no set way this has to look, which is the beauty of it! God can work creatively in any circumstance to help us establish community. Sometimes, he brings it to us. Sometimes, we have to search it out. For me it was a combination. God provided people to live in community with, yet we longed for more since moving further away from our church community and we were able to start a small group of sorts with other Vancouverites who also "commuted" to church. Ask him what it looks look, how to get it, and what he has for you! We serve a God who cares for our every need, and knows about them before we even ask.