Dear Licia Corbella

With the recent death of Glee actor, Cory Monteith due to a drug and alcohol overdose, there have been many articles and thoughts buzzing around the internet and social media world. When I stumbled across this article, which has received a lot of negative media attention, my blood boiled to a degree it had not yet reached, and I decided to send the writer an email. She may not even read my email, and I don't expect a response by any means. While my email to her may have blown off some steam, my primary reason for writing her was to address the injustice and judgment she expressed of Vancouver and the DTES. 

An article about Corbella defending her original piece can be read here.

Disclaimer: I am fully aware that harm reduction and pretty much this entire topic is quite controversial. I don't think harm reduction is a solution by any means. Truthfully, I would love and I strongly desire to see people set free of their addictions and not need a place to use drugs in a safer manner. God is setting people free and will continue doing that! He isn't bound by harm reduction or abstinence based programs. Perhaps I will write more on that another time. 

For interest's sake, here's an article written by a Christian nurse who worked at InSite, titled "Why I help addicts shoot up".

Dear Licia,

I am a home care nurse who works in the "cancerous lesion" that "needs to be surgically removed", known as the Downtown Eastside of Vancouver (DTES). I am writing in response to your article, "Vancouver's easy drug access may have helped kill Monteith". I am sure I'm one of many, many people who have emailed you about this and expressed anger. I am angry for a couple of reasons. Firstly because I feel you expressed opinions based on your own assumptions, biases, and complete lack of understanding or evidence.

I could go on and on, directing you to evidence-based, thorough research studies about InSite and the (extremely low) percentage of people who use drugs for the first time there, as well as articles about harm reduction and how it is successful. I could also mention that above InSite, is OnSite which is a detox program. I could also remind you that InSite does not provide drugs, but rather it's a supervised place where people can inject and health care providers can help to bridge a health care gap to people in the DTES. It's not only a place where people come to inject drugs. For many, InSite is a first point of access or contact with health care services. They can be connected to OnSite, a physician or clinic nearby, and have their wounds dressed or other health care concerns addressed. But, by now you might already have been told all of this or read it for yourself.

The second, and biggest reason I was angered by your article (and defence article) is because I work very closely with the population you are discussing who access InSite and live in the DTES. The population of drug users that you have described as a "cancerous lesion" are in fact real people, more like you and I than you might care to believe. It has been a complete honour and privilege to work in the DTES as a nurse, to get a glimpse of what these people face on a daily basis and to come alongside them, help them advocate for themselves, and ultimately, see them as people and treat them in a humane, merciful, and loving way. They are not just drug users, they are over comers in every sense of the word because they have faced trauma and judgments that no one should ever have to face. I would encourage you to walk in their shoes or at least learn about harm reduction and what InSite's purpose really is before broadcasting your opinion and judgments. The DTES doesn't have room for anymore judgment. 

Next time you are in Vancouver, I encourage you to take a tour of InSite to find out what really happens there and talk to people firsthand who work there. Not that it's "safe to assume" anything but I do think you would find it is more than just "well meaning". 

Sincerely, 

Megan Wiebe

Informed Vancouverite & Nurse

Community: Peace Doesn't (Always) Equal Understanding

About a month and a half after Sarah, Robert and myself had started "living in community" together, they found out they were pregnant. When I heard this news, several emotions went through my head. Some of these emotions I'm not particularly proud of. While I felt excited and joyful, I also felt scared, upset and disappointed because I thought our time of living together was going to end even though it had just begun.

As I said, I'm not proud of the initial emotions I felt and although I'm not in any way justifying it, I do want to provide some context and background. We had just moved to Vancouver. Sarah and I had both graduated from nursing school and written our Canadian RN exam in June. I had only been working at my new job in Vancouver for a few weeks, and it was overwhelming to say the least. This was also the first time I had moved out, and I was missing my family and the familiarity I had known. I felt like everything in my life was in huge transition, and not very much was familiar or comfortable.

I reacted to this news out of a place of fear (and selfishness) and couldn't see past it for a while. Upon receiving their news I immediately decided that the obvious, logical thing to do was find a place to live and new roommates. And I tried to do that. Ohh, how I tried! It was honestly God's grace that nothing worked out, and he was certainly trying to tell me something. I just wasn't listening, or wasn't ready to listen. I didn't understand and decided to focus on that which ultimately made it more distressing.

I remember telling a friend about all of this, and how I was sad to have to move and experience more change. His response to me was "Well, what is your definition of community?" I didn't really know how to answer that at the time. He pointed out that community also includes families, and that perhaps when someone's having a baby it's the time when they need people in community the most.

He had a good point.

What he said felt like a sucker punch in the stomach to be honest, mostly because I felt offended. I felt offended because I knew he was right, but I didn't know what to think of that, nor was I ready to accept what he was saying. So I kept on doing what I was doing...looked at a few places, tried to figure out who to live with... In the mean time I was feeling more and more confused about what to do, while Robert was hearing from God that we may all continue living together. He didn't tell me this until later. Sarah was also going through her own process with all of this.

Finally I took time to listen to God and I felt him saying to lay it down and just trust him. So I did, and should have from the beginning! The shift for me was night and day. I went from being anxious and stressed over my living situation to total peace. I felt like I different person. People noticed the change. The crazy part was, I still didn't know what I was doing. I had ZERO understanding.

"If you want the peace that surpasses understanding, then you must forfeit your right to understand." 

- Bill Johnson

Bill Johnson's quote sums it up perfectly. I had to completely forfeit my right to understand in order to get peace. Once I did that, I was in a better position to hear from God. Eventually I sensed very strongly that I was supposed to stay, which was not an easy thing for me to receive and accept. It took some time to get there. I was in a bit of denial over it all, to be honest. Not to mention it seemed crazy to stay in our two bedroom place with a baby on the way!

I surrendered all that and other thoughts, concerns, and fears to God, as did Sarah and Robert. Only when all three of us came to that place, each in our own time and process with God, do I think we really began to walk out what it means to live in community together. To this day we are still living together! It's awesome. Sure, there are challenges but it's honestly been one of the best things I've done!  There has been so much grace to "live in community" together and walk this out. God is so good and loads grace upon us when we walk in obedience according to HIS will.

Ultimately I learned that understanding doesn't always equal peace, and more often than not, we gain peace amidst our lack of understanding. After all, the Bible does say peace "which transcends all understanding..."

How many times have I read that verse? Too many times to count! It just took me some time to get it, or rather start to understand that a bit more. May we all continually go deeper in our understanding and experience HIS peace that surpasses all understanding in whatever our circumstances! It's so much better to forfeit our right to understand than it is to try and fight for understanding using our worldly understanding, "logic" and perspective.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV)

Guest Post: Reflections on Marriage in the Context of Community

Sarah is my lovely, amazing, beautiful friend whom I live with in community alongside her awesome husband Robert and their adorable son Joshua! I asked her to write a guest post about living as a married person in community, and these are her thoughts. Enjoy! 


Disclaimer: I would just like to say that this is not a holistic or definitive discussion about what it is like to live in community as a married person. It is simply a reflection on one aspect of how living in community has impacted my marriage. There are challenges and many other aspects involved that are not discussed in this post. 

When we first moved into community a year ago, my husband and I were not really sure what we were getting into. We were excited, yet nervous at the same time and at times even a little scared. How would this impact our marriage? How would our relationship function in this new context? Would we struggle? Would living in community expose the ugly parts of us in a way that would be damaging?   

We had lots of questions but we were ultimately happy and eager to be walking in obedience to what we felt God was calling us to. Little did we know that we would get pregnant within the first month of living in community. This created its own set of stressors and raised many more questions which Megan might address in a later post. With that said, to our wonderful surprise and the graciousness of God, living in community has become a great blessing and gift to my husband and I. Living in community helped prepare my husband and I to become parents.

No, Megan is not like a child to us. She is a fully functioning adult who is incredibly responsible and mature for her age. However, living with another person has caused a very positive refining in our marriage which equipped us to be better parents. Living with Megan has made us conscious about more intentionally stewarding an atmosphere of peace in our home that is free of strife and discord. We do not always do this perfectly, but we have been much more aware of this then when we were first married and living on our own. We are more careful about how and what we speak to each other. We try our best not to argue in front of Megan (although I am sure we have done this on some occasions). As a result, what, in the past, would have been a heated argument in the moment often turns into a much calmer discussion later behind closed doors. My husband and I fight far less since we started living in community a year ago. 

No, we are not just suppressing things or being fake. We do still argue sometimes and continue to have very deep, challenging, and sometimes intense discussions both individually and as a community. With this said, we have learned how to pick our battles and often chose to not engage in a certain conversation because we know it will not go anywhere and is simply a waste of our energy and time. We have learned to say sorry, and forgive more quickly.

 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. 

Ephesians 4:2-3

We are aware that the love, unity, and connection in our marriage not only affects our lives but Megan’s also. The responsibility of this has caused us to nurture and protect our marriage more and this made our transition to becoming parents much easier. I think most parents desire to raise their child in a peaceful and nurturing environment.  This is not always an easy thing to achieve and often requires a steep learning curve and ultimately no family can do this perfectly. Yet, we have had a lot of good practice by living in community, which has made our learning curve easier.  Living in community has given us the grace we need to walk out one of the main things God has called us to do in this season: be parents. For this we are so grateful.  

When we put our trust in God and walk in obedience to what He is leading us to do, even if we don’t understand we are given the opportunity for massive growth in our character, relationship with the LORD and with others. Have you ever had to put your trust in God and walk in obedience even when you did not understand or felt scared? What did this look like for you? 

Community: Leaving individualism behind and embracing shared life

Since my initial post about community, I have been astonished at the number of people I've come across who are really, really desiring community in their lives. I suppose I really shouldn't be surprised but sometimes it's hard to know that you're not alone in your struggles. I have several friends who are seeking out community diligently, and taking risks to make it happen. It's super encouraging to see that, because it's really discouraging to struggle with lacking community.

People are not just needing community, they are wanting community.
People are hungry for it, and are seeking it out.

As I said previously, it is God's will that as Christians we live in the context of community - fellowship - shared life. God brings life, and it's meant to be shared. It's fundamental to the Christian faith, and it isn't happening as much as it should be. I feel as though this has to do with the huge emphasis placed on individualism. This individualism is deeply rooted within our Western culture. We try hard to be independent.

I became acutely aware of this individualistic/independent mindset when I began telling various people that I was going to live in community with married friends. Their responses were interesting and varied to say the least, with an underlying discomfort, misunderstanding or fear. People's reactions and responses worsened when I told people that they were having a baby, and we planned to continue living together. It wasn't always easy to hear their responses and be misunderstood.

"So, it's like a commune?"
"Ohhh..."
"Well, say goodbye to sleep!"
"Why?..."
"Well, that's good... (insert long pause) until you have your own place that is!"
"...My neighbour's basement suite is up for rent, it's really nice! I'll give you their number."
"I could never do that, but... good for you?"
....Or just the plain old, awkward silence.

Community makes people a bit uncomfortable I have noticed, especially when you are cultivating it in a home together like we are doing. Why does it make people so uncomfortable? I think some of it boils down to this individualistic mindset. I also feel that people don't necessarily understand what it looks like to live in community with one another, or think of it as being co-dependent. Reuben Welch, author of "We Really Do Need Each Other" offers another idea that may have contributed to individualism. He suggests that individual salvation and our personal relationships with God ("you have your relationship, I have mine") has been over-emphasized and contributed to our over-individualistic mindsets. I had never really thought of it that way, and it's something to think about for sure.

Having an individualistic and independent mindset creates and leads to self-reliance, isolation, loneliness, and disunity. It can also create selfishness. Is it easier to be independent? Most likely, in some ways at least. But, the fruit comes when we live in the context of community as God intended.

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. 

Philippians 2:3-4 (ESV)

A Man who isolates himself seeks his own desire; 
He rages against all wise judgement.
Proverbs 18:1 (NKJV)

"Real witnessing is one beggar telling another beggar where to get bread. We are all beggars - we don't have anything but the life of Christ and his life in us is not separate from our life with each other."  - Reuben Welch

I love what Welch says here about our life in Christ not being separate from our life with each other. We need to move away from that separatist perspective! He goes on to say that God's grace works in such a way that we need one another in the context of community, and that this is not because Jesus isn't enough or because God is inadequate. Burdens lighten when we share and care for one another. Community is a powerful thing! It's a powerful thing that the enemy hates, and he would prefer for us to stay independent and self-focused.

Walking out community brings out the good, the bad, and the ugly. That is authenticity, and it's messy. Some of the most beautiful, hard and humbling moments in our house have involved confession and repentance together (1 John 1:9, James 5:16). Living intentionally in community hasn't allowed me to cover things up or deny that I'm going through a hard time. (Don't get me wrong, we aren't airing out our "dirty laundry" all the time because we live together. Boundaries are needed and in place, as in every relationship.) I've also learned a lot about humility and it looks like to walk it out. It's truly been an honour and privilege getting to see and be apart of one another's walk with God firsthand while living under the same roof.

That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked at and our hands have touched - this we proclaim concerning the Word of life. The life appeared; we have seen it and testify to it, and we proclaim to you the eternal life, which was with the Father and has appeared to us. We proclaim to you that we have seen and heard, so that you also may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father and with his son Jesus Christ. We write this to make our joy complete.
1 John 1:1-4 (emphasis added)

Fellowship with the Father, and fellowship with one another. It's about "being together as Christians not just Christians being together" as Welch puts it while discussing this verse in 1 John. The church needs to get this, and since we are the church, let's put being together into better practice. We need to be apart of this or create places for this to happen! Let's embrace community and share life together.

My Prayer: 
Lord, I pray that you would teach us how to truly fellowship and cultivate community in our lives, however you will that to look. Give us a deeper understanding of this and help us love one another and really be together. Replace our individualistic and over-independent mindsets with your perspective on fellowship, community and loving one another. Help us not to be fearful of allowing people into our lives, and the humility and vulnerability needed for that. Remind us every day that you are the one who has brought the life of God which brings us together. Help us to embrace true community as Christians and use it to love, encourage and build one another up.

Side note: If you are interested in reading Reuben Welch's book you can order it here. 
UPDATE: Also, Banning Liebscher recently spoke about community at Bethel Church, listen to it here. Super good!

Loving Vancouver

"I'm a country girl", I've always said.
I grew up on a farm, how could I be any other way?
I lived on acreage with a nature playground as my backyard.
I always figured I would remain a country girl, couldn't really see it any other way.
Never really imagined or wanted to live in the city, unless it was "for a short time only".

Then, one year ago on June 9, 2012 I moved to Vancouver, "for a job".
I moved here for that sole practical reason, or at least that is what I was telling myself and others.
We started "living in community" at that time, although I think that we've been continually learning what that has meant. God is constantly revealing and teaching us what community is really about, especially since all of us left places where had pre-existing community near by to live in Vancouver.

I have grown to love Vancouver. I even consider it home. HOME. This is a BIG deal.
I never, ever thought I would say those words out loud or write them on a blog to be read by others.
It took many months of living here to stop calling my parents' home "my home", even though it will always be a home to me. I fought to prevent myself from calling Vancouver home. I worked hard to believe it was only temporary.

But, when God puts something in you, there isn't a whole lot you can do as my "roommate" said today.

He's put it in me to love Vancouver. To be fully present here. To love people here. To build community here. To grow in him here. This is a very recent revelation, or rather it is only recently that I'm accepting of all of this. I'm learning slowly what this all looks like. I think it's safe to say I feel called to be in Vancouver for right now, until God reveals otherwise. It's good he reveals in parts. I really believe it's God's grace that we don't always see the big picture, and that we only see things partially and as he reveals. Would I have moved if I had known I would be staying longer than a year? I think deep down I knew it would be longer, but I certainly wasn't willing to accept it at the time. It's like what Paul writes:

Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.

1 Cor 13:12 (NLT)

I remember driving back to Vancouver from Langley after church with one of my friends. She has been living in Vancouver for several years and was saying that she always feel so refreshed and excited as she drives back into the city, especially after being away for a few days. I recall wondering if I would ever feel that way about the city, and concluded that I wouldn't. I'm a country girl right? I love wide open spaces, the city can be "claustrophobic".

I feel that way now, just how she described it, and I can't even put it into words fully. I had those feelings as I drove back to Vancouver the other day after spending some restful days in Langley visiting with friends and family. I'm at home in Vancouver. I think for a long time I thought I had to feel completely settled in order to feel at home somewhere, but I'm really at home wherever God has me. I always thought other people were called to be in the city, but not me. I was just here temporarily for a job. Well that job is not temporary, and me living here is definitely not temporary.

God's done a lot of work on this in me. It's definitely taken a long time and been a process.
I've laid things down, and let things die. I've stopped asking "why" and embraced the journey which is full of growth and grace. The safest place to be is in HIS will.

Does that mean that the country girl in me is gone? No, but she is thriving in the city and learning to be content and at home wherever God has her. So, embrace where you are at, wherever God has called you to be, doing whatever he has called you to do and you can love it!

Are you a risk taker?

A few months back I had a meeting with an advisor at my bank to discuss my "risk tolerance" in regards to some financial decisions I was making. I walked into that meeting thinking I had a higher risk tolerance than I did when it came to money.  This conversation got me thinking about what my "risk tolerance" is outside of the bank, on a day-to-day basis and how willing I am to take risks for God and walk in obedience to him. 

I realized I have taken a number of different risks lately that pulled me right out of my comfort zone. I guess there is a reason that it's called a 'comfort zone' since it's awfully comfortable and familiar there. Most recently I had the chance to pray for a few people as God prompted which pushed me out of my comfort zone a bit. I also started this blog which feels a little vulnerable as I put my thoughts out there for people to read. I've been taking big risks in hoping and praying for things that God has promised for me that I have yet to see fulfilled, and also in my prayers for family, friends, and my job. I even went on a date after agreeing to be set up with a guy through mutual friends which was a pretty big risk for me. I often feel as though it takes risk to just be a Christian in my workplace, to have the values and beliefs I have and to walk them out boldly (something I am definitely needing to work on) in such a secular place.

Whoever watches the wind will not plant; whoever looks at the clouds will not reap. Ecclesiastes 11:4 (NIV)

I love what Ecclesiastes is saying here. You will not reap what you do not sow, and you will not sow if you are only watching the wind. Sometimes you have to stop watching the wind and take action. Sometimes you have to get off your couch, leave your house, and put yourself out there. Sometimes it will be uncomfortable, that's okay! Obedience involves risk. Having hope and faith involves risk. Loving people involves risk. It's exciting, empowering, and scary all at the same time. That's the thing with risk, there is always some uncertainty involved and the possibility that it might not turn out so great. However, there is also the even greater possibility that something amazing will come of it. When God is involved, that's the case more often than not! Thankfully so.

Some of the risks I've taken lately haven't turned out quite the way I imagined or expected they would. It's hard to hope and believe for something to happen and then not see it come to fruition. It's tough to be shut down, rejected or not accepted. I'm learning that it's okay, this is a part of life, and God is still good, always. Sometimes taking risks makes me feel like a top being thrown off kilter, and leaves me questioning whether I should risk again. Am I willing to risk even though it could hurt and might be disappointing? Yes, because there is good news! Risks produce harvest if you are willing to sow into them. And, it's worth it do so even if your heart hurts a little in the process or you are burned because I've realized you learn and grow and become stronger in your faith and dependence on God. Situations might not always go the way you planned; you might not be well received, someone might not be healed after you pray for them, and something might end in a way you weren't expecting it to - but, you were obedient and took the risk. You aren't sitting on your couch wondering what might have happened, because you went for it! And regardless of the turnout, there is always learning to be had along the way. 

The Bible is full of people who took huge risks for God. Jesus risked being rejected and misunderstood on a regular basis, and he experienced both of these to the fullest extent possible. Rahab comes to mind when she hides Israelite spies in the book of Joshua or Moses who parts the red sea in Exodus. I love the story of the woman who pours perfume on Jesus' feet in Luke. There is also the woman hemorrhaging who believes she will be healed through touching Jesus' cloak takes risk in Matthew. She is healed! Come on! I could go on and on, as there are countless stories of risk-takers all throughout the Bible. Noah, Daniel, Abraham, the disciples... All these people have several things in common, but the most obvious being faith: faith in a faithful God. They also trusted him and were obedient, even when if it meant looking crazy or different. I'm realizing more and more that risk (whatever the size and cost) is really just a normal part of our Christian walk. 

Faith, trust, obedience and risk all go hand in hand.

So, I am choosing to be a risk-taker because God is a loving father who holds me close, and really, the safest place to be is in his will. I am choosing to be a risk-taker because even though it throws me off balance at times and it's hard to get back up, God is always stable and never off kilter. Psalm 46:1 says he is "our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble". That is enough for me, HE is enough for me. I desire to stay in tune with what my Father in heaven is saying and asking of me, and I long for more boldness, courage and grace to walk it out, to be obedient and take the risks needed along the way, even when it seems scary. Choose to be a risk-taker alongside our amazing Father!

When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.
Psalm 56:3 (NIV)

Stay tuned, in the next month or so I am hoping to explore the topic of community further, with the help of some dear friends!

P.S. Thanks for reading my blog!

What is God teaching you?

I was skyping with a friend recently and sharing with her how my job has seemed extra challenging lately and I haven't been dealing with it well (if at all). While I could identify some things that were making it hard, there were also things that I couldn't (and still can't) even pin point necessarily. I described feeling as though I was just trudging along, which felt laborious and taxing. Trudging along is slow, painful and also rather discouraging. It's not the least bit restful, and feels like barely "surviving" at times. The thing is, when you're trudging along you aren't getting anywhere fast and you're not able to see above whatever it is you're trying to get through. Your eyes on yourself and the hard stuff you are dealing with and it's difficult to have hope and know the end goal because of this.

Yeah, that has been me.

I had driven home that day feeling overwhelmed and praying to God for his perspective, asking him what I should do, and ultimately crying out for his grace to walk through this. I didn't want to just survive anymore or hope it gets easier in time and somehow get through it.

My friend's (gentle, and loving) response to me: "What do you think God is teaching you through this? Have you asked him?"....Boom. Busted!

That was one of the keys for me. When we ask God to reveal what he is teaching us (even if it's just a glimpse because we usually don't get the whole picture), we can then co-labour in that together with him. Breakthrough comes sooner when our eyes are on him and we are aware of what he is teaching us, or at least are reminded that there is an end and HE is with us in the process! I heard God say that this challenging season at my job is character building. Gaining an understanding of that brought a shift for me! As I write this a few weeks after this happened, I am seeing his work on my character in small ways. Is it still challenging? Yes. Do I have a better perspective and attitude? Yes.

It has been a humbling process, and seems almost silly and obvious as I write this all out, but so often I just trudge and forget to keep my eyes on the one who keeps his loving eyes on me. I forget all too quickly that he also makes all things work together for the good of those who love him! Walking in this kingdom mindset is so much more effective, hopeful and freeing in our challenging situations. The challenges we go through are not just hard for the sake of being hard - which is a tempting mindset to have because it almost takes the responsibility off ourselves to keep our eyes on him, to pray, shift the atmosphere, seek and have HIS perspective, etc. amidst our circumstances. With all that said, I encourage you to be honest with yourself, stop trudging and ask God what he is teaching you amidst your own circumstances.

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.

Psalm 32:8

And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those are called according to his purpose.

Romans 8:28