Community: Leaving individualism behind and embracing shared life

Since my initial post about community, I have been astonished at the number of people I've come across who are really, really desiring community in their lives. I suppose I really shouldn't be surprised but sometimes it's hard to know that you're not alone in your struggles. I have several friends who are seeking out community diligently, and taking risks to make it happen. It's super encouraging to see that, because it's really discouraging to struggle with lacking community.

People are not just needing community, they are wanting community.
People are hungry for it, and are seeking it out.

As I said previously, it is God's will that as Christians we live in the context of community - fellowship - shared life. God brings life, and it's meant to be shared. It's fundamental to the Christian faith, and it isn't happening as much as it should be. I feel as though this has to do with the huge emphasis placed on individualism. This individualism is deeply rooted within our Western culture. We try hard to be independent.

I became acutely aware of this individualistic/independent mindset when I began telling various people that I was going to live in community with married friends. Their responses were interesting and varied to say the least, with an underlying discomfort, misunderstanding or fear. People's reactions and responses worsened when I told people that they were having a baby, and we planned to continue living together. It wasn't always easy to hear their responses and be misunderstood.

"So, it's like a commune?"
"Ohhh..."
"Well, say goodbye to sleep!"
"Why?..."
"Well, that's good... (insert long pause) until you have your own place that is!"
"...My neighbour's basement suite is up for rent, it's really nice! I'll give you their number."
"I could never do that, but... good for you?"
....Or just the plain old, awkward silence.

Community makes people a bit uncomfortable I have noticed, especially when you are cultivating it in a home together like we are doing. Why does it make people so uncomfortable? I think some of it boils down to this individualistic mindset. I also feel that people don't necessarily understand what it looks like to live in community with one another, or think of it as being co-dependent. Reuben Welch, author of "We Really Do Need Each Other" offers another idea that may have contributed to individualism. He suggests that individual salvation and our personal relationships with God ("you have your relationship, I have mine") has been over-emphasized and contributed to our over-individualistic mindsets. I had never really thought of it that way, and it's something to think about for sure.

Having an individualistic and independent mindset creates and leads to self-reliance, isolation, loneliness, and disunity. It can also create selfishness. Is it easier to be independent? Most likely, in some ways at least. But, the fruit comes when we live in the context of community as God intended.

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. 

Philippians 2:3-4 (ESV)

A Man who isolates himself seeks his own desire; 
He rages against all wise judgement.
Proverbs 18:1 (NKJV)

"Real witnessing is one beggar telling another beggar where to get bread. We are all beggars - we don't have anything but the life of Christ and his life in us is not separate from our life with each other."  - Reuben Welch

I love what Welch says here about our life in Christ not being separate from our life with each other. We need to move away from that separatist perspective! He goes on to say that God's grace works in such a way that we need one another in the context of community, and that this is not because Jesus isn't enough or because God is inadequate. Burdens lighten when we share and care for one another. Community is a powerful thing! It's a powerful thing that the enemy hates, and he would prefer for us to stay independent and self-focused.

Walking out community brings out the good, the bad, and the ugly. That is authenticity, and it's messy. Some of the most beautiful, hard and humbling moments in our house have involved confession and repentance together (1 John 1:9, James 5:16). Living intentionally in community hasn't allowed me to cover things up or deny that I'm going through a hard time. (Don't get me wrong, we aren't airing out our "dirty laundry" all the time because we live together. Boundaries are needed and in place, as in every relationship.) I've also learned a lot about humility and it looks like to walk it out. It's truly been an honour and privilege getting to see and be apart of one another's walk with God firsthand while living under the same roof.

That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked at and our hands have touched - this we proclaim concerning the Word of life. The life appeared; we have seen it and testify to it, and we proclaim to you the eternal life, which was with the Father and has appeared to us. We proclaim to you that we have seen and heard, so that you also may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father and with his son Jesus Christ. We write this to make our joy complete.
1 John 1:1-4 (emphasis added)

Fellowship with the Father, and fellowship with one another. It's about "being together as Christians not just Christians being together" as Welch puts it while discussing this verse in 1 John. The church needs to get this, and since we are the church, let's put being together into better practice. We need to be apart of this or create places for this to happen! Let's embrace community and share life together.

My Prayer: 
Lord, I pray that you would teach us how to truly fellowship and cultivate community in our lives, however you will that to look. Give us a deeper understanding of this and help us love one another and really be together. Replace our individualistic and over-independent mindsets with your perspective on fellowship, community and loving one another. Help us not to be fearful of allowing people into our lives, and the humility and vulnerability needed for that. Remind us every day that you are the one who has brought the life of God which brings us together. Help us to embrace true community as Christians and use it to love, encourage and build one another up.

Side note: If you are interested in reading Reuben Welch's book you can order it here. 
UPDATE: Also, Banning Liebscher recently spoke about community at Bethel Church, listen to it here. Super good!